In honor of the biggest rivalry in Ohio State Football, BuckeyeLegends.com thought it would be fun to have a post for fans to share and read their favorite Michigan jokes, original or otherwise.
I will start it off with a few:
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National Weather Bureau - NEW TORNADO POLICY
For the Ann Arbor and nearby areas: In case of possible tornadoes sweeping through the Ann Arbor and nearby areas, we ask that all residents take shelter at the Michigan Stadium. We are certain that a touchdown will not occur there. Thank you for your cooperation.
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A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a Michigan joke?” The guy replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6′ tall, 200 lbs. and I am a Michigan Graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6′2″, 225 lbs. and he is a Michigan Graduate. The guy right next to him is 6′5″, 250 lbs. and he is also a Michigan Graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?” The first guy says, “No, not if I’m going to have to explain it three times”
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If you have a Michigan joke that you would like to share, please submit it in the comment section of this Blog.
Please keep in mind the family nature of our website and use good judgment before posting.
BuckeyeLegends.com, of course, reserves the right to remove or alter any joke that we deem inappropriate, or any joke posted by a Wolverine.
Happy laughing!
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How do you get a Michigan graduate off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
What does a Michigan graduate say at work? Welcome to McDonalds can I take your order.
A burglar, an assault suspect and a Michigan graduate are in a car, who’s driving? The police.
Comment by Blair Conway — November 17, 2008 @ 12:01 pm
Nick Sheridan is walking along the bank of the Olengtangy the morning of the big game. He soon spots the Horseshoe across the river and sees Brandon Minor sitting nearby. He calls out “Hey Brandon, any idea how I get to the other side?”
Minor looks around for a moment, and then calls back, “Nick, you’re on the other side!”
Comment by Doug — November 17, 2008 @ 1:45 pm
I was supposed to attend Michigan coming out of high school, however they denied me because my GPA was to high!
Comment by Anonymous — November 18, 2008 @ 9:32 am
Did you hear they cancelled the OSU vs MICH game this year? Michigan can’t get past Toledo!
Comment by Todd Cal — November 18, 2008 @ 9:34 am
A family of Michigan football supporters head out to do some shopping.
The son picks up an OSU jersey and tells his mother he’s decided to
become a Buckeye fan and wants this for Christmas. The mother, upset,
whacks him on the head and says Go see your father! Off he goes with the
OSU jersey in hand to find his dad. Dad? I’ve decided I’m going to be an
OSU fan and want this jersey for Christmas. The father is outraged,
whacks his son on the head and says No son of mine will ever be seen in
THAT! On they way home the father says I hope you learned something
today. The son says Yes, I have. What is it? I’ve only been a Buckeye
fan for an hour and I already hate you Michigan idiots.
Go Bucks…Beat Meeechigan!!
Comment by Lyle Pohly — November 18, 2008 @ 10:10 am
A first grade teacher tells her class she is a Michigan Wolverine. Then asks “who else is a wolverine?” All hands go up except one boy!
Asked why he decided to be different, the boy said he was not a wolverine! What are you then? I am a proud Buckeye just like my Mom and Dad! The teacher became quite angry.
What if your Mother and Dad were morons, what would you be ? The boy paused and with a smile said ” Then I ‘d be a Wolverine!”
Comment by Dick 54 — November 18, 2008 @ 11:13 am
ANTHRAX SCARE AT U of MICHIGAN
Michigan football practice was delayed nearly two hours late yesterday morning after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Rich Rodriguez immediately suspended practice while police and federal agents were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the goal line. Practice was resumed this morning after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.
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Comment by Carolyn Painter — November 18, 2008 @ 12:49 pm
I just heard on ESPN that the OSU vs. Michigan was just cancelled. It seems that Michigan cant get past Toledo!
Comment by Jeff bush — November 18, 2008 @ 12:53 pm
What to the Michigan football team and a possum have in common?
They both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Comment by Dan Lindner — November 18, 2008 @ 1:06 pm
Do you know the difference between a Michigan cheerleader and a bag of trash ?
The trash gets taken out once a week !
Comment by Al "Buckeye Nut" Bell — November 18, 2008 @ 1:34 pm
11/18/08
ANN ARBOR, MICH. (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Michigan courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Michigan Wolverines, and coach Rich Rodriguez whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
Comment by Rich — November 18, 2008 @ 1:54 pm
15% OF THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN FOOTBALL TEAM HAS BEEN ARRESTED DURING THE PAST YEAR, WITH THAT IN MIND, THE JOKES ARE FLOWING ….
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A lady in Ann Arbor calls 911. Hysterically, she says, ‘Someone’s just broken into my house, and I think he’s going to rob me!’
The police officer says, ‘Maam, we’re really busy at the moment.
Just get the guy’s jersey number and we’ll get back to you.’
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Q: What is Rich Rodriguez’s biggest concern?
A: Does the NCAA count bail money as a recruiting violation?
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Q: What do you call a drug ring in Ann Arbor?
A: A huddle
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Q: Four Michigan players are in a car, who’s driving?
A: The police
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Q: Why can’t most of the U of M players get into a huddle on the field?
A: It is a parole violation to associate with known felons.
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The University of Michigan team has adopted a new Honor System:
‘Yes, your Honor; No, your Honor’.
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The Wolverines are hoping for an undefeated season this year….
11 Arrests, 0 convictions.
Comment by Steve Brown — November 18, 2008 @ 3:20 pm
Why do U of M grads keep their diploma on the dashboard of their car?
So they can park in handicapped parking spaces
Comment by joel linnabary — November 18, 2008 @ 7:42 pm
Q: How did the Wolverines spend the first week of Spring Training?
A: Studying their Miranda rights
Comment by Steve Brown — November 19, 2008 @ 9:29 am
Michigan Wolverine football practice was delayed nearly two hours this morning after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Rich Rodriguez immediately suspended practice while police and federal agents were called to investigate.
After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the goal line. Practice will resume this afternoon after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.
Comment by James Sandhofer — November 19, 2008 @ 11:58 am
What do you call a pretty girl at Michigan?
Visitor
The best part of Michigan is under water!
Michigan - A part of OHIO nobody wanted!
Michigan - Where a Rose never grows (or goes)!
Directions to Ann Arbor - North til you smell it, west til you step in it
Comment by Dave Smith — November 19, 2008 @ 8:19 pm
Why did they put artificial turf down in Michigan Stadium?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing!
Comment by Dave Smith — November 19, 2008 @ 8:25 pm
What do you put in a bowl and mash up for three hours? Michigan
Comment by Anonymous — November 22, 2008 @ 8:31 pm